November 7, 2010

I had a productive weekend!  This is the first time, since Phil left that I’ve been able to concentrate and get any work done. J It came just in time too.  Final exams start in three weeks, so it is definitely crunch time.  I spent the entire weekend locked in my apartment, working on my outlines and studying.  I’m really proud of myself, especially since I have been worried about Phil all weekend.

He sent me a text message the other day, saying that he is going out for several days and to tell everyone to pray for him.  Naturally, this worried me quite a bit, but he texted me the following day, saying that he is at another base and is ok.  He’s so sweet.  He doesn’t want me to worry, so he always tries to let me know he’s ok and that he loves me.  I love him more and more every day. 

Yesterday morning, around 4 o’clock, he sent me a message via Facebook saying they’d gone through some really bad areas.  He said that they were told to expect severe contact, so that’s why he’d sent me the text message a couple days earlier asking us to say a prayer.  He said that I probably won’t be hearing from him for a couple of days but not to worry and he loves me.

Obviously, I’m still worried about him, but I just keep praying for God to protect him and the other guys.  I trust God to take care of him and I KNOW he’s going to come home, safe and sound.  I just have to have faith. 

I feel like this is a personal test for me and a test of our relationship. I have confidence that both will come out of this stronger and better in the end, validated in a way. This is the most difficult thing I’ve ever experienced. Working full time through undergrad and even law school is a piece of cake, compared to this.  I want to prove to myself that I can succeed in school and remain focused, even while trying to cope with this deployment. Hopefully, after this, Phil will know without a doubt that I will always love him and support him and will never betray his trust.  We are soulmates.  

My goals for this deployment are to do well in school, get in better shape, and to support Phil however he needs me to.  I need to be strong.  He needs me to be strong, so that I can support him.  I love him so much! 

I just have to remember:

·         Always have faith!  God will protect him and give us the strength to get through this!  Put this in God’s hands.

·         Be strong!  I am stronger than I think I am.  This is going to be difficult, but I can do it. 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.”