Foolish Drama

So, I got my response from the other wife.  Here’s the transcript of our conversation:

November 17 at 1:09pm

(Wife),

I'm not sure what your problem with me is. I have tried to be nice and encouraging to you. I mean, we're all in this together. We don't have to be friends, and, frankly, that's your choice. I wish you the best.

Best Regards,
Rachel

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November 17 at 8:49pm
Rachel,
My reason for defriending you is because I do not need negative people in my life. It's one thing to "be nice and encourage me" to my face and then turn around and write about me on the internet INSTEAD of confronting me like a grown woman and asking me about why I responded to your comment in the way that I did. I would of said "I'm sorry Rachel I wasn't trying to be rude at all and I apologize if that's how I came across to you." Bam! Problem solved!!!! I'm not sorry anymore. You don't know me and don't even act like you know me. I don't know you and now I really don't want to anymore. I may be young, but I am not naive. Since I am "rude" all I have to say to you is grow up and put your big girl panties on. Especially if you plan on being an Army wife someday. It's not easy. I strongly suggest the next time you have a problem with someone to not do the whole high school thing and write about them on the internet and then complain about them to your boyfriend in afghanistan who has a million other things to stress out about then some "rude" bitch like me being "rude" to you. THAT is rude, selfish, and extremely juvenile. I wish I could say that I wish you the best but I do not believe you are genuine in wishing me the same. Best of luck to you and Phil getting through this deployment.
-(Wife)

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November 17 at 9:21pm

(Wife),

I’m sorry you feel that way about me.  First, I have no ill feelings toward you, even after your last message.

 Second, my blog is my journal.  I write about how I feel, just like you do.  You don’t have to explain it to anyone and neither do I.  I chose to make my blog public so that my friends and family can know what I’m really going through.

 Third, the first thing you need to know about being grown is when a confrontation is really necessary.  It was not necessary in that instance.  I was not mad then and I’m not mad now.  I was just writing about my feelings.  That’s the point of a journal, and I did not name you specifically.

Finally, I did not complain to Phil about this.  He and I talk about everything.  He is not worried about it and neither am I. 

As I stated before, I have no ill feelings toward you, and I wish you the best.  I wish you wouldn’t be like this, but that’s your decision.

Best Regards,

Rachel

______________________________

November 17 at 9:26pm

Yes. It is my decision. Best wishes to you as well.

WOW!!!  All I have to say is, seriously?????  First of all, to give a little context, here’s the offending post:

Another reason today was kind of bad is because one of the wives was pretty rude to me this morning.  I had posted something on my Facebook about talking to Phil twice yesterday, and she commented that she hadn’t heard from her husband in four days.  I really felt bad for her because I know that I’d be freaking out by now if I hadn’t heard from Phil in four days. When I talked to Phil this morning, I mentioned it, and he told me that her husband was just somewhere where there are no phones and that he’s ok. I relayed this message to her, thinking that she’d appreciate just knowing that he’s ok.  Instead, she responded by saying, “Thanks, but that’s my honest to God soulmate, out there in a land where the enemy has absolutely no respect for human life, so telling me not to worry is like telling the sun not to shine so much.”

Ummmmm…. Excuse me, but doesn’t she think that I feel the exact same way.  Just because Phil and I are not married yet, does not mean that I love him any less than she loves her husband, and Phil is in that same place with him.  I know she’s young, so maybe she just doesn’t understand that all of us are going through the same thing, but it makes me want to not worry about her and not let her know that her husband is ok.  That’s not the right thing to do, and I would want an update about Phil, if the situation were reversed. *Sigh*

Honestly, I don’t feel like I’ve handled the situation in anything but the most mature and respectable manner.  I feel like I neither personally attacked her nor talked about her behind her back. 

This blog is my journal.  I thought I made that clear.  It is a place where I write about how I am feeling and the things that are going on in my life.  I chose to make it public, because, as I stated earlier, I want Phil, my friends, and family to know what I’m going through and what my life is like while he’s deployed.  I know that my family desperately wants to know how I’m feeling, so that they can better help me through this difficult time.  Sometimes these types of conversations are difficult, face-to-face, so this is my way of sharing with them.  I also want anyone who reads my blog to know what deployments are really like for the loved ones of the soldiers.  It’s one thing for someone to be sympathetic, but it’s another to be empathetic.  I want people to really KNOW what it’s like, not just be understanding of the situation.  I hope that’s what my blog does.

 I hope the emotion of my words leap off the page into your heart because the truth of the matter is that my heart feels like it’s breaking every moment that he’s not here.  The only relief I ever feel is during the few moments a day that I speak to him.  Please note that I use the term “speak” loosely because I have not actually heard his voice in 18 days.  However, I wouldn’t trade our Facebook chats for anything in the world because it at least means that I get to hear from him and know he’s ok. 

Now, as for the wife, I will continue to be kind to her, regardless of how rude she is to me.  I refuse to bring myself down to that level.  It is not only unbecoming, but it is also unnecessary and immature.  I’m sorry that she feels that way about me, but I cannot do anything about that and will not waste any more of my energy on it.  Although I do not feel that I owe anyone an explanation for what I write here, I explained to her why I did not discuss the situation with her.  One of the most important things I’ve ever learned is that you have to choose your battles.  Some battles are just not worth fighting.  This was just not something that I felt warranted a confrontation.  I was just taken aback by it at the time, but it was not something that was serious enough to require further discussion. 

As far as her response goes, I honestly think she wanted to try to get a rise out of me with her personal attacks, but I cannot give her that satisfaction.  I have never understood why people, when they are upset about what others think of them, go on to prove that they are, in fact, that way.  It doesn’t make sense.  However, I will say that I do not appreciate her condescending attitude.  

 

Anyways, as far as this situation is concerned, I’ve said what I needed to.  I’m sorry if I have offended anyone by my earlier posts or if I offend anyone in the future.  I will never identify anyone by name in my posts, other than Phil and myself, but I will write about things in my life and I will write about how I feel about them.