A Difficult Week

So, I’ve been neglecting my blog lately but not by choice.  I have been soooo busy!

Basically, the past week I’ve just been trying to not have a breakdown.  That’s what law school does.  It’s like this cycle where we start off the semester ok, with minimal stress, and then as the semester progresses, the stress level increases and increases.  By the time final exams come around, the stress level is almost at its maximum, so the few weeks of finals are spent trying to hold off a nervous breakdown. It’s like being chased by something and we just have to run fast enough to keep out of its grasp until we make it to safety.  Then we have immediate relief until the next semester starts and the cycle starts all over again. 

My first final was on Tuesday morning and my second final was this afternoon.  I have been studying almost non-stop for the past five or six days.  My brain feels like mush right now.  In fact, this blog post will probably be some of my worst writing ever.  I’m definitely taking the night off from studying and will resume tomorrow for my next final on Monday.  This week has been particularly stressful because today was the first time I’d heard from Phil in six days.

Last Wednesday, I talked to Phil on Facebook and he told me that I probably wouldn’t be hearing from him for about a week because he was going to an outpost where there are no phones.  I didn’t hear from him on Thanksgiving, but on Friday he tested a picture of himself from his buddy’s phone. He said that he probably wouldn’t be using the phone anymore, though, because it is really expensive to send texts from there.  It was nice to see a picture of him though.  It’s the first one that he’s sent since he left.  I didn’t hear from him again until today.  It helped to know to know that he was just in an area where he couldn’t contact me, but I was obviously still worried about him.  As the days went on, my anxiety kept going up.  It’s the longest that I’ve ever gone without talking to him.  It was horrible. I definitely cried myself to sleep a few nights.  He called today, though.  J

It was such a good conversation.  Just hearing his voice makes everything ok.  He seems to be doing well and I could tell he was happy to talk to me too.  We talked about what we want to do during his R & R and we talked about everything that we’ve done since we last talked.

Thanksgiving was last week and I spent it back home with my family.  I’m glad I was there because if I’d have been at my apartment alone,  I know I’d have been a thousand times more anxious about not hearing from Phil for so long.  Thanksgiving was bittersweet, though. It was really nice to spend time with my family and Phil’s family, but it was sad to spend the holiday without Phil. 

On Thanksgiving, I went to Phil’s parent’s house after I’d eaten Thanksgiving dinner with my family. His parents were there by themselves. His brother and his brother’s fiancé were spending Thanksgiving with his fiancé’s family, so Phil’s parents were just spending the holiday alone.  It was sad.  I know they were sad that Phil was not there to celebrate the holiday and that he was out there not being able to celebrate, sleeping in the cold, and generally being in such a crappy situation.  It really makes us not feel like celebrating anything.  It’s hard to celebrate when half your heart is in Afghanistan.  I’m glad I went over there on Thanksgiving because when I got there, they were just watching TV alone with all the lights off in the house.  I could tell they were sad.  I brought his dad some cupcakes that I made for his birthday, and they seemed to cheer up when I got there. We sat and talked for a while.  When Phil’s brother and his brother’s fiancé got home, we all went upstairs to the computer and his dad showed us a bunch of videos on YouTube.   

I went over there the following evening for dinner too.  His dad is an awesome chef and he made a feast of roast chicken, mashed potatoes, and a bunch of other things.  It was delicious!  I think I ate my weight in food, though.   It was kind of a Thanksgiving feast.  Phil bought his dad a Yanni dvd for his birthday, so his dad made us all watch the entire thing after dinner.  Phil’s brother and I protested but he said to blame it on Phil.  HAHA! I told Phil about it when I talked to him today and he laughed.  He was glad his dad liked the gift, though.  It was really nice to spend time with Phil’s family.  It was nice to spend time with my family too.

Both of my brothers were in town for a few days so the whole family was there for Thanksgiving.   One of my younger brothers lives in Boston, getting his master’s degree in mechanical engineering at MIT.  He got his bachelor’s degree there too, so he hasn’t been in town much since he moved up there about five years ago.  My other brother goes to UGA, so I see him more often.  It was just nice to hang out with my entire family.  I’m excited to see them again at Christmas.  

While I was up there, I spent a lot of time with my mom too.  She baked about a million cookies, and we bought a vacuum sealer and sent them to Phil and his buddies.  I hope they are ok.  We laughed because the vacuum sealer smashed them.  At least they’ll be fresh.  HAHA!  My mom was great.  She knew that I needed to study, so she baked all of them by herself.  I helped package them up, but she baked all of them.  It was really nice of her. I know it must have been exhausting.  Those cookies definitely derailed my diet, though.

I definitely ate way more that I should have last week.  It’s always so difficult to stick to my diet when I’m home.  I’m not used to having so much delicious food around, so when I’m home it’s bad news.  I ran about 6 miles last week, but I was still almost positive that I’d gained at least a few pounds by the time I got back.  To my surprise, I didn’t gain a pound.  I’m still working on Operation: Get Hot, but right not the objective has changed.  Now, it’s Operation: Don’t Gain A Million Pounds During Finals.  I ran a little over three miles last night, and I still haven’t gained any weight.  I hope I can at least lose a few pounds by the time I go home for Christmas.  I’ll probably go running again tonight too.  It really helps with my anxiety. 

Although it’s been a difficult week, everything is ok again.  I have made it through two finals and only have three to go.  Plus, I heard from Phil today. J Hopefully I’ll hear from him again tomorrow.