It’s been an exhausting week.
I had two final exams this week, Federal Income Tax and Criminal Procedure. Federal Income Tax was brutal. Criminal Procedure was not so bad. It was a little tricky, as law school exams go, but it wasn’t infuriatingly difficult. The main thing about the Criminal Procedure exam that was difficult was the fact that it was my fourth exam, and by now I’m exhausted. I’ve been studying almost non-stop for the past two weeks.
Law school exams are unlike any other exams in that, not only do you need to know the rules and the policy behind the rules, but you also have to know how to apply the rules to a hypothetical fact pattern, discuss each argument and opposing argument, and come to a conclusion. I’m completely exhausted by the time I leave each 3-4 hour exam. Adding insult to injury, after each exam I have to go home and study for another exam. There’s no break, no time to lose. I’m so glad I only have one exam remaining, Professional Responsibility. It’s on Tuesday, so I have three days to study. I’m a little worried about it because I have not studied at all, but I’ll get it done. I can last for three more days. I have to.
Because of my exam this morning, I didn’t talk to Phil today.
My exam started at 9 this morning, and Phil wasn’t able to get online to chat until 9:15. Yesterday, when I talked to him, I let him know that I’d be in my exam this morning, so at least he knew why I couldn’t talk. I sent him a message before the exam started too. He sent me a really sweet message in response that I received after my exam. It made me feel better that I missed him and it made me smile. I love how he can make me this happy even when we’ve been so far apart for so long. I really love him. His message made my day a hundred percent better.
When I got home from my exam, I ate a Lean Cuisine :-/ and tried to take a nap. I was up late studying last night and only got about five hours of sleep, so I was planning on sleeping for a few hours this afternoon. That didn’t happen. Since Phil left, no matter how exhausted I am, I cannot get to sleep. I always end up lying in bed, thinking. I’m hoping I’ll be able to sleep better after the semester is over because I’ll at least have a break from the stress of law school. My long sleep ended up being a restless 30 minute nap.
After my little snooze, I was still exhausted, but I made myself get up and go to the gym because I didn’t work out yesterday. I only planned on making myself run two miles, but I ended up running five miles. That’s a HUGE accomplishment for me because a) I just started running again about a month ago, b) before today three miles is the most I’d ever run at one time, and c) I’m so freaking exhausted. It was actually not that difficult.
Because of Operation: Get Hot, I set a new goal for myself this week. My new goal is to run 20 miles a week. So far, since Monday, I’ve run 14 miles. That means, I only have to run three miles tomorrow and Sunday. I hope my legs aren’t too sore to run tomorrow. I’d really like to work up to running more and more. My friend told me about a 15K that he and his girlfriend are doing next semester. That’s almost 10 miles. It’d be awesome if I was able to run that. Hopefully I can spend a lot of time in the gym during break and work up to it. I’d be so proud of myself. Even though I’ve been running a lot, Operation: Get Hot seems to have stalled.
I’ve lost 13 pounds since Phil left in August, but the weight is getting more and more difficult to lose as I get smaller and smaller. I only have about eight more pounds to lose, but it won’t budge. I’ve been tracking my calories, cutting back on the carbs, and drinking more water. I only eat about 1300 calories a day, and I’ve been wearing a calorie monitor that measures the amount of calories I burn each day (like they wear on Biggest Loser). It’s really takes the guesswork out of losing weight because I know exactly how many calories I eat and how many I burn. Losing weight is really just a numbers game. However, I HAVE NOT LOST ANY MORE WEIGHT! It’s so frustrating, especially because cutting carbs SUCKS. I’ve lost an inch in my waist since I officially began Operation: Get Hot, so I guess my hard work is paying off. It’s still frustrating that the scale does not reflect it too. Oh well. I’ll just continue watching my calories and working out. Eventually, the scale will catch up. Even if it doesn’t, I definitely look and feel better now. I always have to set goals for myself and have something to work toward.
I’m a slacker unless I have a goal or an objective to meet. I need the motivation. Also, I need the distraction from being sad or worrying about Phil. Otherwise, I’d be a nervous wreck. I have to throw most of my energy into school or getting in shape so that I’m not so depressed. I’m sure these self-imposed goals are a huge source of my stress/anxiety, but it’s better than being perpetually depressed and anxious for the next seven months. I’m a little worried about the break though. I’m not used to having much idle time, so I’m worried about not having enough to do. I plan on helping my mom with some stuff around the house, but I mainly plan on making the gym my full time job and starting to train for the 15K. That’s what they do on Biggest Loser, so I don’t know why I can’t do it too, especially if I don’t have any other responsibilities.
I just have to make it through these next three days and my last exam. Hopefully, I’ll hear from Phil tomorrow.
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